going back to school after a break is like when you pause a video game to go pee and when you come back you forget how intense and chaotic everything was when you paused it and the second you unpause it all your enemies collectively punch you in the face
A human getting pissed at their vampire boyfriend so they put in a silver sterling tongue stud and bracelets and earrings and their vampire boyfriend is just standing five feet away like “babe. c’mon.”
best so far.
fun prank: wake up during open heart surgery and sing don’t go breakin’ my heart to the surgeon
i couldn’t if i tried.